Thursday, August 29, 2013

Miley Cyrus Is No Madonna

I finally took time out of my day to watch what everyone has been talking about, Miley Cyrus and Blurred lines.  I have read many reviews about that teddy bear train wreck and saw a trend trying to compare Blurred Lines on The VMAs to Madonna's performance of "Like a Virgin" at the first MTV Video Music Awards. As USA Today said,  the "From Miley to Madonna: VMAS Are The Place To Cross The Line."   Miley Cyrus didn't cross any lines.  She showed up on the other side of the line already naked.  If one is to cross a line, they need to start at the beginning with a lead up to something.  Clearly no one explained to Cyrus the art of, The Tease.

Okay, Miley Cyrus has some talent, but it was impossible to see because it was hidden by her tongue in a sea of teddy bears.  Comparing her performance to Madonna?  No.  Madonna performed and expressed herself in the way consistent with her persona she created.  It matched, it was fun and provocative.   Miley Cyrus was a hot mess.

There's no comparison.  Madonna created herself- "in the wild", if you will.    Miley Cyrus' talent was "farm grown".  She spent her childhood creating a great image, used her acting and singing talent and created her following: young teenagers and tweens.  Yes, that group has grown up but I'm thinking most of the fans who grew up with her,  would not be "twerking" or dry humping people dressed like teddy bears without some ecstasy and glow sticks at a Furbie meet up .  As I watched Cyrus emerge from  the teddy bear, I wondered if it is she, or her choreographer who has a shrine to Gene Simmons in a closet somewhere.

Look, I was no Robin Thick fan before Blurred Lines.  I get my music from itunes suggestions based on my Genius playlists, and yesterday I discovered Spotify.  I still have over 400 CD's.  Yes, I'm not super current like the kids.  I'm more into Foo Fighters and looking forward to the new album by System of a Down.  I dabble in pop and every now and then I like it.  So, I was really hoping Robin Thicke would be as hot as he sounded in the song and he was dressed like Beatleguise.
BEATLEGUISE!!!   It really didn't do anything for Michael Keaton's sex appeal, so I'm not sure what the hell Robin Thicke was thinking.  Together, Miley and Robin looked like 80s & 00's sitcom movie mash up gone horribly wrong.

I want to forget that whole thing happened.  I'm commenting in defense of Madonna.  Back in the day,  she took some chances and succeeded.  Probably because she was not once a child star with a following of tweens, etc...  Although we didn't mind dressing like her.  It was cool and creative.  The best part was, you could have fun with it.  I never took dancing classes and if I wanted to, I could finally wear a tutu to school.  Yes, I wore spandex and animal prints, but I also had lacy gloves.  Yes, I loved Madonna.  I'm coming out of the closet to all my friends here.  I LOVED HER!  But Madonna's influence was about being suggestive and pushing boundaries.  We saw her roll around on the floor and we could only assume she was "playing with her kitty"- and no one was on that stage but her when she was ding the deed.  AND, she did it at the end of the song.  She didn't have to simulate anything until she wanted to and that is the art of the tease.  Madonna played to her audience.  Not a random group of people onstage.  She made it clear she was in charge.  So, there is no comparison.  So USA Today, this is me, giving you the finger. Well, it's more like that thing Ross and Monica did in front of their parents, but you get the point.  Miley Cyrus is no Madonna.  And Brittany Spears is a whole other post I would not waste my time writing.

Won't someone please think of the children?!!!
Look, your kids have already seen creepier stuff.  Parents watching this with their tweens could use this as a teaching moment, instead of screaming to the networks about "showing sex to kids".  It's the VMAs.  They have been around nearly 30 years and "twerking" and crotch grabbing are nothing new.  Shut up about the networks' responsibility and parent your kids.  All you need to do is talk with them.  So if you want to think of the children, point that finger at yourself, not the networks.

1 comment:

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